Thursday 6 October 2011

Videogames will turn your pork sword into a vagina



Men are in trouble. We are out of work in record figures, fewer of us are going on to higher education, and we aren't around for our children as much (apparently...). Who or what is to blame for all this? Videogames of course! At least they are if you are believe the ramblings of 68 year old William J. Bennet over at CNN. I'm not certain what makes a fat ex-politician approaching his seventies an expert on videogames and the younger male generation, but apparently he is qualified enough to write an article about it.
'I der know 'bout dem videogames 'n' stuffs' - William J. Bennet.  
Of course if you read his article (I wouldn't recommend it) he seems more concerned with the fact that men are being outdone by women than any 'real' male centred crisis. His opening line 'for the first time in history, women are better educated, more ambitious and arguably more successful than men' certainly doesn't seem all that concerned with the 'decline' of the male gender, but more concerned that men are being outdone by those walking dishwashers/pleasure holes/baby factories they call 'women' *shivers*. 

In Mr Bennet's eyes society shouted "you go girl" (Bennet's down with the kids see?!) in response to the female gender's growing ambition, ignoring any confrontation that may have met the feminist movement initially. Maybe he would have preferred us to shout "make me a damn sandwich" instead, lest those women actually utilise equality to their advantage. William J Bennet is also terribly concerned that he has heard a growing amount of women asking "where are the decent single men?". Now I don't imagine Mr Bennet's social circles puts him around many single women and he has instead got this impression from watching far too much Sex in the City with his immensely unsatisfied wife (she doesn't have a double chin fetish sadly).  

You can't find a good man because you're a bunch of dried up skanks who hang around with a horse. 
To fix all this Mr Bennet has some wonderful words of advice to all 20something men "get off the video games five hours a day, get yourself together, get a challenging job and get married". This is the only way men will be able to claim back their place as top dog and once again send women back to the fiery pit of the kitchen. This whole argument is based on the fact that videogames are an entirely male driven phenomenon. But women play videogames as well and female gamers are on the increase.  
I swear to God that controller better be an elaborate sandwich woman! 


My conclusion is that this whole article by Mr Bennet stems on his own struggle with masculinity after his wife stuck her finger up his pooper. He now thinks that women are trying to take over the world. It has nothing to do with videogames but they make an easy target to pin the blame. I, for one couldn't give a shit if women did become the dominant sex. Hear me out gentlemen; maybe girls could work all day long whilst we all sit at home and play videogames? I wouldn't even mind making her a sandwich from time to time if that was the case. 

I hope you enjoyed this elaborate entry about sandwich making. If you didn't leave a comment and say why. If you did enjoy it 'like' it on facebook or 'tweet' it! Don't forget to leave a comment!




1 comment:

  1. your mental, but brilliant and i'm a woman :D

    ReplyDelete

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