I'd probably get a boob job if it meant a week off work.

Read part 1 here! 


My 'big one' wasn't perfect. It arrived with an extra pack of 36 toilet rolls that we didn't order. This meant replying to the bizarre picture email was unavoidable. Since she sent me her Paint masterpiece there had been no contact between us. It was the elephant in the Outlook. I mean what do you say in reply to something like that? 'I love the shading on the grass'? 'The detail on the pighamsterfaetus is excellent'? I decided to just commend her artist efforts with 'I liked the picture, looking forward to the next one' tagged on to an awkward email about how we didn't want their crappy 2 ply toilet paper. That's just asking for fingers to go through the toilet paper. 

Now I assumed the bog roll issue was just a simple error and wouldn't go as far to call it 'unacceptable behaviour' but perhaps 'Lady' is really upset that she would think me naive enough to buy 2ply toilet paper. Few things are as degrading as having to wash own your excrement off your fingers. 


Today's picture however is of her colleague, who has not been mentioned to me as of yet, but apparently I should have a pictorial representation of her.  'Lady' has also drawn her colleague's dog (who we shall refer to as Tits Magee), which she notes is a 'Pomeranian'. This leads me to believe that she put a bit more effort into drawing the dog than she did with her previous animal creations, indicating perhaps that she tried to capture the unusual fluffy nature of said breed. 


Here is 'Tits Magee' with her Pomperanian:

Now as bizarre as this picture is at least it has some basis in the realms of reality and has not simply come from watching The Sound of Music on acid. However perhaps instead of getting a boob job 'Tits Magee' should have had a hand transplant. Not sure whether a hand transplant would be possible given her arms appear to giant Wotsits sprayed in blood. At first I considered that maybe she sold her hands to some sort of hand pervert to pay for the boob job - hence the blood, but this seems impossible given the smile on her face. 


Her dog seems to share the same Wotsit tone of Tits Magee's skin, which makes me think this particular version of MS Paint has a very limited colour pallet. The dog does appear to be in very ill health, raising concern over the animal's well-being. For starters both eyes appear to be riddled with multiple cataracts meaning the dog is likely completely blind (perhaps it ate it's owners hands thinking they were Wotsits). If you look to the rear of the animal it is also apparent that the anus seems to be hanging out of the animal, closely remembling Steven Tyler's lips (see below).

Case in Point.

My main concern however is that the dog's back leg(s) seem to be wasting away almost as if it is suffering from muscular dystrophy. It seems that it's already lost one leg from the disease slowly eating away at its body, and has some sort of stump instead. The front legs in strict contrast look like they were amputated straight off the Elephant man. I can only assume this poor dog is riddled with disease. I hate to say it but I can only recommend putting this poor animal to sleep. 


Hopefully the animal will get smothered in those sweet new boobies before passing away though.

Go peacefully fluffy one. 

Remember if you enjoyed this blog to share, follow, comment and otherwise shove it in your friend's faces. Maybe I'll send you a birthday card with these Paint Masterpieces on if you do.